Friday, March 11, 2011
I have been spending these few days to think things through. I realized that there are many things I need to change. I have to get rid of my angstiness first and foremost. I believe all the other flaws I may possess are to have a close link with regards to this factor. I guess if I learn to be more patient, I can at least have assurance to be a better person, greater confidence and more importantly; be more understanding.
You see, I am quite an overbearing person for these years and my friends are actually quite unhappy about it. I knew it all along but I did not see the need to change because I felt that that was me in my defining character. However, I was enlightened by no.1 that I am becoming a better person/(improvised or enhanced) instead of changing my originality. many years ago he told me that but I did not heed his advice and now I need my camp mates to tell me that. Of course, army is a place for us to step into the true adulthood as a man. I don't deny that there are many I have seen that are still the same after all these years(which i shall not mention names) and I do not wish to be like them.
Frankly speaking, I complained about girls not liking me, but when i though about it, I realized my actions are the ones that causes girls to feel turn off. I am overbearing, cocky and quite offensive in my words, all thanks to my angstiness and my " never lose " kind of attitude.
I remember once, before WeeKee left ADOC, he told me to take good care of myself. Apparently, i did not handle myself well enough. Previously, HanWei also used to tell me that I will never live a fufilling life and I should consider a change in my opinions in life. Furthermore, he has also revealed to me that when WeeKee was around, he has given me alot of benefits and also told me that WeeKee has protected me and my reputations from many lashing tongues. I do sincerely thank him from the bottom of my heart. Hes a good friend and working partner of mine previously in ADOC. He has also helped me in my appeal in my NTU PAP course. I therefore feel that i should at least carry out his words for me to take good care of myself. All i want to say to people who have taken part in giving me feedback about my problems, i truly thank you from the bottom of my heart. I shall talk less now and listen more.
Burning Hot** 6:07 AM
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Saturday, March 5, 2011
I am a fool.. Fooled by yet another ugly side of humanity. Betrayal. yes, I am betrayed. By someone of my concern. Again and again. Thanks alot pal, for betraying me.
Burning Hot** 8:27 AM
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